Blah, blah, blah (a journal type post)

I have just dropped Chris off at the curb of the airport so he can catch his flight back to S. Korea today. On our first Mother's Day. The first parenting holiday that we get to share legitimately. Weird. I don't know if I even notice Mother's Day at all today. I think I notice more the fact that Chris is gone, the honeymoon is over and now I have 6 months to go. sigh.
It was a honeymoon, though. for the most part. It had one or two crappy moments. But, as always, those were caused by both of us.
I have felt sad for a couple hours and now I am thinking about how special it is that we get to go through times like these. We have talked recently about how much we have learned and how much we see that we need to change because of this time apart. Because of Chris' time without us, without my help and encouragement. And because of my time alone with a baby that requires so much and gives me little time to replenish my give supply. more
Most married couples don't get glimpses like this from the Lord. We get one. We get to see what the Lord already knows. This is what life would be like if we never made it through the harder times that we have had (no details offered for those who don't know what that means). This is what life is like as a single mother. a single guy in the military...as well as seeing, more clearly, our hearts in certain areas and seeing how other areas fade into the woodwork without proper maintenance.
I remember more and more often a time in the 80's when my mother was alone at home with 7 children, the oldest of whom were in high school. My father was in S. Korea (go figure) for 6 months. We did not have a computer at home and he was not able to call everyday. wow. and they stayed married. I often wonder how she did it. She did not have any family nearby to help. I don't recall her having the time or the funds to get a sitter and go out for herself.
This is a special time for me to seek God in a closer and more tender way for His help and guidance. We have seen, because of this time alone a whole lot of "acceptable sins" that we allow in our hearts and I have seen how my husband, though not a perfect man, does not complain. really. I have heard him once or twice joke that he considered going A.W.O.L. rather than going back to S. Korea. But he has not complained about any part of his job in years that I recall. He has stood through my having bouts of complaining and bitterness for how the military has treated him at times, but has not joined. He reminded me of Job just then. And he works so hard to make sure that I feel as though he chooses me over himself most of the time. He is compassionate, honest and ethical to a degree that I have a hard time remembering in any other man.
Before I make it sound like I think he is a God of some kind. Rest assured that I do not. Yes, there are things that my husband would say he needs to change- even things that he struggles with that I do not. But that is what makes our marriage so great- we help each other out. We fill in the gaps (for all you Rocky fans).
I feel blessed to be married to this particular man and am challenged to think I would ever choose another path given the opportunity. Because of this man, I know more about God. I rely on God and I seek God with a more honest heart and motive.
Because of this man, I know of God. I am a wife and mother because of him. All by God's help and grace, but because Chris was willing to do it without complaint. Even when it humiliated him the most. and trust me, I have humiliated him.
If you are still reading this babble, bless you and may you have discoveries of God in your relationships, married or otherwise, that lead you to be as overwhelmed and amazed at the intricacy and complexity that results in simplicity within God's plan and purpose for them. I am honored to have this year to learn from Him. and to be reminded of so many great things about Chris, whose name means "Christlike" by the way and I think it suits very well.
Happy Mother's Day. Hopefully none of you have anything but wonderful times celebrating the gift of your children today.